Performing Again

In April I performed for the first time since having Claire. Yay!!!

A choreographer I knew from college, Rosa Vissers, invited me to be part of a quintet for women. It felt like a long journey back to a lifetime ago of dancing: working through rehearsals when I was tired and already stressed as well as not having the strength and abilities that I used to. Another big element was battling my skewed view of myself as a dancer. Right before I got pregnant I had an awful dance experience and an injury. The situation made such an impression on me that I had weekly nightmares for a year. So, it took a lot of convincing my self to not jump to the worst conclusion and assume the choreographer wasn't pleased with my work or dancers thought I sucked or they couldn't stand working with me when I messed up. I had to reason with and remind myself that I am a good dancer, period. I've had 22 years of dancing to prove it. However, I couldn't believe how hard it was to pick up the movement phrases and get beyond barely knowing what came next to actually add in dynamics and perform the movement. It basically took the whole 3 months of rehearsals for it to finally come together for me. I'm grateful to Rosa for working with me as well as the other dancers for their patience and trust, despite my slow progress. A bonus was that I got to work with another U of U alum, Laurel, and another dancer, Tova, that I really enjoyed dancing with in classes at Velocity. The performances went very well and I was happy to be part of the show.

*performance photo by Gary Lappier

*performance photo by Gary Lappier

Working with Rosa was the perfect scenario for me to return to dancing. She is so warm and positive. Just typing this makes me want to cry. It was exactly the "care" that I needed to come back.