I hit a wall and threw myself a full-on temper tantrum. I was trying to get Claire down for her morning nap and she fussed/cried/refused to go to sleep for 3 hours! I'd tried everything: rocking, singing, reading, laying her down over and over, letting her get up since she must not have been sleepy enough, nursing like 3 different times, hoping she would fall asleep at the breast. No. I lost it, put her in her crib roughly, slammed the door, stomped to the living room and screamed, "Why, why, why?" over and over again as I hit my fists against my legs. Poor girl was scared and wailing more than before. It gets worse. In the thick of it the mailman walked up to the door to make his delivery. Ugh. After I calmed down I felt so ashamed for being angry. Then embarassed that the mailman probably thinks I'm abusive. I confessed the whole event to my sister and she assured me, "Oh, I'm sure he's heard that before".
Conclusion: My ability to handle my day, and whether I'm a happy mom or not, is directly related to how much sleep I get. Waking up every 2-3 hours at night is not working. Staying up late to have "me time" is not helping the matter. I desperately need more sleep!!
Now I'm wondering if I want the events in this post to be public knowledge. ???
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