Claire turns 3

Three years old and her first Friends birthday party.

Pretty decor made in the wee hours of the morning.

Outside string game - following a string weaving through the yard and stopping for tasks like playing ring around the rosy, singing "happy birthday", exercise moves, gathering for a group photo, etc.

Pink, Sprinkles, and a mini-banner made by Mama.

She was shy blowing the candles out, so her friends were happy to help.

The kids gathered around to help her unwrap gifts.

Showing off her necklace I made for her.

Excited to have a rocking chair just her size.  This one was passed down from Rich's family - I think great-grandpa Truman lacquered it.

Another party at Grandpa Don & Grandma Laura's house with a Winnie-the-Pooh cake.

Poor Claire, her cousins were so excited for her, but it was too much attention.  We've had to start letting her open holiday gifts when there's only a few people in the room, so the cousins have to miss out for now.

Daddy got to blow out the candles while Claire looks like she's about to cry.

A lick of frosting should make things better.

Sugar rush!

Pointe shoes

I kept one pair of pointe shoes from my ballet life and Claire had a lot of fun with them.

So serious.  I wonder what she's thinking about.

"And then I do my leg like this."

Trisha Brown Dance Company came to Seattle and I got to see my old friend, Tamara, perform!  We studied Modern Dance at the University of Utah together, we performed together, and I performed in her choreography.  I have so many memories of watching her dance, completely captivated and inspired.  She has a hard-earned strength matched with a warm personality and sweet grin.  

Since having a traumatic "end" to my dance career I have often felt like a failure - that I never "made it", that I wasted 21 years of time/effort/money/hope, that I must not have been "good enough" or skinny enough.  I never had the chance to dance on a full-time company and tour the world like I had dreamed, let alone a company so famous as Trisha Brown.  Years ago I had gone to the Trisha Brown summer workshop in NYC and loved the movement style.  Soon afterwards I flew to NYC again to audition for an apprentice position.  None of the company members who taught the summer workshop were running the audition, so no one knew me.  And, with a few hundred other dancers vying for one position, being known is pretty important.  I was cut the first cut.  I felt devastated and foolish that I flew to NYC to dance 16 counts of movement.  This dance world is so hard!  

Considering my feelings of failure, I don't like going to see dance performances at this point, because it's such a harsh reminder of what I am missing, and I REALLY miss dancing.  Likewise, I had some anxiety about going to the concert and seeing Tamara, who is "living the dream".  Fortunately, I had a wonderful time.  It was a thrill to see Tamara perform so beautifully!  I also enjoyed recalling the choreography that I had learned of the piece "Set and Reset".  I coordinated with several other alums to attend the concert and afterwards we went out to eat with her.  I'm so glad we got catch up on the last 10 years, laugh at her stories, and I'm so glad that she took the time to connect with me individually.  She let me know that she's had her own terrible ending with a choreographer and she encouraged me not to take it personally.  She reminded me that there's still time in my life to pursue dance in a meaningful way.  She also revealed that (even as a dancer in a world-renowned company) she can relate to the moments where we all wonder "what am I doing with my life?"  I really appreciated hearing her perspective!  I went home that night with more peace, with gratitude for my family, and with hope that I will dance again someday (when I'm not so sleep-deprived).  Thanks for the boost Tamara.  You're the best.

Up close

Gavin's around 5 months here, in April 2011.

Striking eyes.  Gentle with her brother.

 Right after this she licked his face.

 Bright baby.

And, giggly.

Claire gave up naps WAY too early.  She only falls asleep by accident - while hiding under a blanket or at the grocery store "while trying to escape" her stroller straps (of course, preceded by yelling and tantrums all through the store).  It's been really hard to accept, because she obviously still needs naps when considering her meltdowns every day, all through the day.  Gahhhh.      

Singing, Crying, Smiling, and Laughing

We have a new computer with different software, so I can't figure out how cut the videos.  

Here's Claire singing (watch to :30)

He doesn't cry much, so that's probably why I think it's so cute.

Wait for it.........(:49), NOW he can smile.

We have a tummy time cheerleader.

Brother & Sister Love

Claire really took to Gavin and I love to see it in these pictures from his early months.  

Can you just picture them, all grown up, telling stories and laughing together?  I hope I can help them nurture a very close life-long bond and commitment to each other as brother and sister.

Being silly.  Gavin at 4 months + 17 pounds = so many rolls of baby fat to squeeze.

The kids love their Daddy time.

We were given some cute outfits with animals on the butt - froggy, lion, monkey.  :)

Can you take it?  He's so lovable!

Gavin's Baby Blessing

Baby blessings are so special.  I love hearing Rich speak with the Spirit and the power of the Priesthood and blessing our brand-new babies with blessings that our loving Heavenly Father wants for them.  Gavin's blessing was no exception - it was beautiful!  Like Claire's baby blessing, it was more about his essence than about specific accomplishments.  (That is so Rich and I, by the way.)

Gavin was blessed with the following:  a strength to his character, clarity to see his path in life and what it should be and to have the determination to follow it without hesitation, to continue to develop the characteristics that we see in him so far: peace, happiness, and general connectedness with others, to have peace and calm in stressful situations, to see clearly right and wrong, that he will be a joy to all those he comes in contact with, that he will be blessed in his ability to find friends and relationships that strengthen him and that he in turn will strengthen those he comes in contact with.

Looking back, I feel a little bad that we didn't dress Gavin in white.  I should have asked to borrow an outfit from friends.  Still, what a handsome little man!  

With Uncle Todd.

With cousin K.

It happened to be C's birthday, so I whipped up some cupcakes.

Sleeping with Laura, the happy Grandma.