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I'm due around November 2nd, 2010. So, Claire will be exactly 2-1/2 years old (her due date was even May 2nd). Funny.
This pregnancy has me exhausted as I'm trying to mother Claire. My belly popped and I started showing super early. At my first prenatal appointment, my midwife wondered if I was having twins (again)! We had to worry a whole day (again) until we had an ultrasound the next day, which showed only 1 baby (and no ovarian cysts, like with Claire's pregnancy). What a relief! I think next time I need to just know that I grow quickly.
A good thing this time around was that I had very little nausea. If I felt nauseous, it would pass in 15 or 30 min., and I never threw up. Yay! My nutritionist said it's a good sign that my body has good nutrient stores.
I quickly became uncomfortable this time and I never had a good 2nd trimester. Instead, I've felt heaviness, ligament pain, sciatica, sacral and hip pain when I shift my weight, etc. from the middle of the first trimester. Basically, it felt like what the last month or two is supposed to feel like. Not fair! With my discomfort and lack of energy, my current (mid-pregnancy) walking pace is up to 40 min. per mile. Wow, I feel like a loser!
Of course, I'm excited. At the same time I've felt a lot of anxiety about having another baby, when I feel like I barely have my crap together enough to handle Claire (and she's honestly such a good girl.) I'm just shocked that my transition to motherhood has been so difficult and I still don't feel like I'm "getting it." I want to be more excited, but I'm feeling overwhelmed.
8 comments:
So I randomly checked your blog just now and I'm soooo excited for you guys Eileen! I hope your pregnancy continues well and uneventfully until there's the event that brings you a sweet baby to love.
The whole motherhood thing is one I think that will never cease to teach me things about how to love, teach, and nurture a child of God... and I try to tell myself that that is a good thing! I'm already finding it's true that the days are long but the years are short. You are a wonderful mother - you can do this!
Love, Sarah
Thanks Sarah, it's always nice to hear praise and encouragement. :)
Two is easier than you think. I have just loved having two kids. They love each other. I was overwhelmed too, at first, and just tried to take it moments at a time, not even days. And it's okay. I loved your post about nursing. It is amazing! Way to go!
Oh, Eileen! Your words ring so true to me. I think that feeling overwhelmed maybe is just a part of being a mother. But, as you know, so many other feelings and blessings come with these beautiful babies.
I had a really hard time adjusting to being a mother, too. And I really didn't know how I was going to be able to care for two. But, somehow, it all works out. Somehow, someway, two feels easier than one. Not in every way, but in many ways. And, that lucky second (or later) baby is so lucky to have an older sibling in addition to parents to love and care for him/her. What a lucky baby to be coming to you.
Thank you Cali. I think you must know what you're doing with 4 kids of your own! Yes, there are so many great things to look forward to and this baby will be getting a wonderful big sister!
Wooo hooo, a big congrats on the soon to be baby! How exciting to be having a little boy. I'm impressed that you were able to take an eight day excursion up in Canada with being as far along as you are, with Claire and being tired! Hopefully the pains you were experiencing are easing up. Though if you're like me, the pains just seem to get worse the farther along I progressed! A big congrats once again, I'm sorry I missed you and Rich today. I'll let you know if we're ever down in Seattle for a day or weekend trip!
Oh, and about feeling overwhelmed. I found going from one to two extremely difficult. I think those first 3 months after the birth were the hardest, luckily it's gotten a lot easier to manage. My best advice, take help every chance you get, it's tough those first few months. For now, enjoy the next 10 weeks, as uncomfortable as they are with all the extra weight, enjoy little Claire, it will soon get much busier! :-)
Congrats Eileen!!!! I wish you all the best in the coming months...
And you know, Emma is almost 3 1/2 and I STILL wonder when I am going to feel like I know what I am doing... And as we decided to try for a second I am scared to death as well:) I just figure I am already doing it, what's one more:)? Anyway - my point being that you are not alone in your thoughts, and I'll bet most women share your ocncern. You are just brave enough to say it out loud. Good for you - I have always tried to be as open and honest about having a child as I could be. It is the most wonderful and the MOST hardest thing ever!
It is obvious you love Claire and you are a besutiful Mom - it's OK to feel you need a little bit of "you" as well! You are going to be great... And for those times wehre you aren't "great", remember that is normal too... Best to you, Jill
Thanks, Jill! I can't imagine being a working mom like you - I'm glad you have family around you to give you support. Seriously, it helps to know that there are other moms still trying to get a grip. :) I'm glad to hear I'm not alone.
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